Tag Archives: kids

Mar21

On Trayvon Martin…

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On Trayvon Martin…

The world is a scary place.

I don’t think we really acknowledge that enough. The things that can befall you as you move from place to place are the realities of life. Every day that I wake up and prepare to move about in the world, I know more than I knew the day before and maybe that keeps me safer. Or maybe it doesn’t. Regardless, I understand more about the motives of people, the dangers of life and the way things just are.

But if you’re young and don’t know much and are just minding your own business, what then?

I resisted the obligatory piece on Trayvon Martin and the tragic events that surrounded his death, until I couldn’t. Until I thought about the young men that I work with and even my own brother and I imagined what it must be like to know that someone you love and care for was killed so meaninglessly. I thought about his girlfriend, on the phone urging him to run and his insistence that he wouldn’t. And what for? He wasn’t doing anything wrong. I thought about what it must be like to lose a son and a friend in this flowering time of his life. I thought about it all and I figured that one more piece on the internet, one more dispatch of letters wouldn’t hurt.

Someone, somewhere decided that Trayvon’s life was worth less than that day’s pride. We know who. That, older and wiser and bigger, he was threatened and needed to shoot. That he should defy police orders, leave his car and accost someone’s baby. And later, somewhere else, others decided that man was right. That it wasn’t quite criminal to murder a young man armed only with Skittles and a can of iced tea walking home one evening. The jury of your mind should tell you better.

One thing I’ve learned about the world is that everything you do has recourse. We want swift recompense; a measure of justice. My knowledge of the world tells me that it may not happen that way. Pressure, applied to the correct places is helping and I feel as though there will be a day in court for this man who felt threatened enough to take a child’s life. But I’m certain of this: he will get what he deserves. Life will reign down blows until he can take no more, be they legal or karmic. You cannot do evil and expect to endure no wrath. I know that much about the world.

I don’t have the most elegant words to say. I don’t know them. So many others have them and have used them. I know that my heart hurts to think about this. I know that I mean what I say when I tell the ones I hold dear to be careful, knowing full well that careful actions won’t ensure a thing. It’s all we have though.

Click here to sign the petition to prosecute Trayvon’s killer.

Sep29

We are losing our children…

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We are losing our children…

We are losing our children. They didn’t get lost on their own. They turned down side streets and took back alleys looking for the way home. We weren’t there to turn on the porch light, to let them know we were still there, so now they’re lost. They wander the cruelty of this world, this place we build and abandon daily, searching for home among the monuments to ego we created. Looking for meaning in the things we hold so dear, the things we build for ‘the man’ and turn around and buy from ‘the man’ with money on loan from ‘the man’. It’s not there. Instead of finding that meaning, our children lay wasted and forgotten. The unfulfilled potential withers away in bodies that are stretching, straining, waiting to be understood. Waiting for love, while we watch ‘Real Chance of Love’. Waiting for someone to wipe tears, while we wipe down our new cars. Waiting for quality time, while we work overtime. And we mean well. We want to give our children a better life, but in the process we’ve forgotten to teach them how to live.


They throw fits. They act out. Ever seen a lost child? They show out until Mama comes running. But what if Mama never comes? Daddy never comes? Auntie and Uncle won’t come? Grannie and Big Papa can’t come? What to do? Baby gotta keep trying until someone listens, until someone hears a cry. We can’t pretend not to hear our children crying any longer.


What’s the reality? Some of us don’t know how to live. We were never taught. We feel ill-equipped to face the youth that so desperately need us because we were left to learn it all on our own. So we leave them to figure it out. Work it out. Fight their way out. The stakes are higher today than ever before. We can’t let our children fight their way out any more, because they are losing. All over this country, they are fighting a losing war against one another because they don’t understand that they are on the same side. They are fighting a losing war against themselves because they haven’t learned to value themselves over material things and their souls over foolish pride. And we haven’t learned it all yet, but we have to trust the Almighty to inure us with the knowledge and the courage to guide our children. That’s the only way.


We are losing our children, but it’s not too late. If you saw a child running into a busy street, you’d do all you could to snatch them back onto the curb. This is one and the same. We teach, though we aren’t all teachers. We parent, though we aren’t all parents. If we chose to guide, we will be given divine instructions. But we have to make the choice and we have to make it now. The true legacy of our days is not in the land we own nor the money we have in the bank, but it is in our children. We cannot afford to let them lose their way.

Sep11

Sacred Womb…

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Sacred Womb…
Don’t get excited. My spare room is still an office, not a nursery.
What’s a woman?

I’m probably not alone in defining my womanhood, at least to a certain degree, by a set of organs carefully hidden inside my body. Masterfully tucked inside of me, there is a womb. A potential home for a baby. I carry a uterus and other stuff that make me, undoubtedly, a woman.

But what if those things weren’t there? Would I still be a woman? I’m watching, with interest, the case of Caster Semenya, who is (possibly) just learning that she’s missing a valuable piece of the puzzle that is womanhood – her womb. And while there are other issues surrounding this, what I immediately thought of was how that must feel. While it’s one thing for that area of your anatomy to lay dormant, it’s entirely another to consider it a vacancy. Where there should be something, there is nothing. I imagine it an emptiness far beyond the mere absence of children. What must it be like to know that even if you tried really hard, with in vitro and pills and whatever else they’ve dreamed up, you’ll never birth a child because you have no where for that child form. I’m not even sure my internal equipment is actually working, but I do know it’s there. I take it for granted, this sacred space that’s been created inside of me. Most women who choose not to have children or are unable to for some medical reason still have a place inside them where life, theoretically, could grow. What if it didn’t even exist?

I’d still be a woman, even if that defining attribute was absent. I know how I feel and I think that’s all that matters. Would a man consider me a woman knowing that our interiors were eerily similar? I’m not sure. How we define what a woman is might be one of the most interesting questions I’ve pondered in a while. Is a woman the opposite of a man? Well, what if she’s just opposite on the outside? What if she’s opposite, but doesn’t look like a woman. Not she dresses like a man or presents herself as a man, what if she genuinely looks like a man? Are you a woman if no one will treat you as one? Are you a woman if no one believes you are?

I’d never given any of this a thought until lately, but apparently it’s an issue for a lot of women. Some statistics say 1 in 5000 women are born without a womb, a condition called MRKH. There are a lot of sad conditions in the world, but this struck me as particularly sad, because even though I’ve never actually seen my womb, it’s very much a part of me. I suppose I assumed it was a part of every woman’s identity. But there are many components to building an identity. I’m convinced that what you know as your truth is more important than anything else. There are no mistakes when it comes to our Divine creation, all the mistakes come in our perceptions. A woman can be a woman, even if she’s technically not a “wombman”.

Jul14

Seeds

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Seeds

We call our children our seeds and I think most people get that analogy. But on another level, dealing with kids is like farming. You start with a little seed and hopefully you grow something healthy and fruitful. That’s how it’s supposed to go, right?

Some kids are like oregano. Plant oregano and you get immediate gratification. Little water, some sun and pretty soon you see some action. As a matter of fact, once herbs start growing, you can see some progress everyday. And you feel like you’re doing something. Some kids just don’t take a lot of work. They need some attention, some guidance and some love, but they’re hardwired to make it happen. That’s good too, because some kids are like potatoes. Potatoes are a whole different ballgame.

When you plant a seed potato, you’re not going to see anything for a long time. The work occurs underground, for the most part. If you want a good potato, it can’t push out and be exposed directly to the light – it can’t take all that light at once. You have to hill them, make sure they are covered in soil. And they need the sunlight and the water and some weeding. It takes a lot for potatoes and there is no instant gratification. You see leaf action, but you want potatoes. You have to wait. You just have to trust that what you’re doing is working.

Some kids are like that. They take a lot work. You love them, support them, help them, teach them, care for them. And you don’t see anything. It’s a little disheartening. You have to keep on tending to them, because the work is happening underneath. They run from you and act up because they can’t take all the light you’re trying to expose them to. You think they aren’t listening, but they are. So you give them what they need, a little at a time. Eventually, there will be results. It might take a really long time. You might not ever personally see the results, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be successful. And they’ll always remember who took the time to tend them.

Our children, our seeds, need us to help them grow. We sow the seeds and we have to take the time to tend them.

May26

The Exodus

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The Exodus

Today was kind of sad. I had another student withdraw. I’ve had no less than 4 students withdraw in the last week to enroll in private school. They can’t pass the TAKS test. (TAKS is a standardized test here in Texas. If students don’t pass all sections before the end of their senior year, they can’t graduate.)

I get it. We have to have some measure. The kids should be able to pass the test. (Well, that’s arguable.) But you haven’t seen their faces. You don’t know how miserable these kids are after attempting a test 5 times, not passing it and being faced with not graduating from High School no matter how well they’ve done in class. It’s a heartbreaking moment.

The alternative is private schools, but not any private schools. These are pretty much diploma mills. Most of them only have classes 2 days a week. I signed withdrawl papers for a girl today; she graduates from the private school next week. She will have attended 3 days of school.

Students who are economically disadvantaged and/or minority are most affected by the whole thing. The people who can least afford to pay for an alternative school and most need a high school diploma are the ones who get shafted in the end. You aren’t suprised, are you? Tuition costs more the closer to the end of the year, despite the fact that the kids will only be there for a few days, because parents and kids are desperate. So either you pony up the money (if you can) or you don’t get a diploma from anywhere. No child left behind…if you can afford it.

Our kids shouldn’t be reduced to this. This is a fun part of the year, as I teach seniors. It’s also the saddest part of the year for me, because I know we failed those kids. You shouldn’t have to go pay nearly $1,000 to enroll in a private school for 3 days to get a diploma in the rec room of a community center. You shouldn’t be studying for a GED after 12 years of school. If they’ve passed their classes, those kids should be at graduation, walking across the stage with their classmates.

But they won’t.

May22

K is…

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K is…

For KaLeah

Man, I wish someone could’ve taken a picture of me on the water slide. HAHA! I kept falling.

Life is about a lot of things….whole lot of things. One of them is having a good time. If you could’ve seen the looks me and my co-worker got from some of our colleagues after we got done sliding on the water slides with the kids today. Some of those stares could have frozen water. So I get out there and play with the kids sometimes? And? That builds relationships. Relationships save kids. Some of those same people talk to the kids so rudely and so ugly…I don’t get it at all. Maybe they need to get into another line of work. Look, kids are bad sometimes, I get it. (Well, they have bad behavior. They aren’t bad.) But sometimes grown folk push them to acting up. Teenagers respect you talking to them like they have some sense. Perhaps if we tried that a little more often…