Have I got a story for you! Remember how I came to town on my birthday? Remember how you walked past me at the party like I was a vapor, a ghost? I hurt in a way I hadn’t hurt before. But I held it inside. I didn’t cry until I got alone in the shower and alone in the rental car and alone in a stall at the airport.
I decided to leave my pain right there.
So I came home and I decided that my life had to be different. I decided to stop playing around and feel how I felt and not cry about it. And, most importantly, I decided I was over and done with your officially sorry ass. You meant to see me broken and suffering because I’d slung some imaginary hurt your way; a mythical transgression that I apologized over and over for – even though I had no idea what it was and you refused to tell me. I decided you were never going to get that satisfaction again.
You’ve seen me broken. You’ve seen me beg for slivers of your attention, bits of your time. You’ve seen me crying, weeping, praying for a resolution. You’ve seen me trying everything I knew to get you to love me. You’ve had that satisfaction and you will never, ever have it again.
You will say that we were never meant to be together. That isn’t true. We absolutely were. But, there is more than one route to happiness. Thankfully, I’ve found another way there with a different co-pilot.